57. Siūⁿ boeh ū sù-sī ê seng-oa̍h
Pak-kok siàu-lú ê âng-jūn iáu lâu tio̍h. Gē-tòaⁿ te̍k-iú ê phôe-hu tī goe̍h-kuiⁿ lih ke chi̍t-chân lê-á-khak ê kim-ku̍t.
"Iah, lí kám chai góa poaⁿ-chhù ah?"
"Ūi tio̍h sai-hū ê sí? Bô koh tòa tī hit-keng niû-á pâng ah neh. Taⁿ tòa ê sī chèng-sek ê gē-tòaⁿ chhù?"
"Chèng-sek ê gē-tòaⁿ chhù? Sī án-ne lah, tiàm-á tih bē thn̂g-á hām hun. Góa iû-goân sī ka-tī chi̍t-lâng tòa. Chit-má chin-chiàⁿ sī chia̍h lâng ê thâu-lō͘ ah. Àm-sî tō tiám la̍h-chek khòaⁿ-chheh."
Shimamura siang-chhiú sio-lám, chhiò chhut-siaⁿ.
"Tiān-pió ê koan-hē. Bē-sái iōng siuⁿ chē tiān."
"Sī án-ne oh."
"M̄-koh, in lâng tùi góa chìn hó, ū-sî góa siūⁿ-kóng, án-ne kám mā sùiⁿ chia̍h-thâu-lō͘? Chhù lih ê gín-á nā khàu, thâu-ke-niû kiaⁿ khì chhá tio̍h góa, tō kā gín-á chhōa chhut-khì gōa-kháu. Góa tùi in bô ì-kiàn. M̄-koh, góa thó-ià in bîn-chhn̂g pho͘ bô chiàⁿ. Góa nā khah òaⁿ túiⁿ, in ē thè góa pho͘ bîn-chhn̂g, ū-sî phōe hām thiap-phōe pho͘ bô chê, a̍h-sī phōe-toaⁿ pho͘ oai khì. Án-ne góa khòaⁿ tio̍h chìn gāi-gio̍h. M̄-koh neh, góa iū-koh pháiⁿ-sè kā têng pho͘ kòe. Lâng chóng-sī chi̍t-phiàn hó-sim lah."
"Lí nā ū ka-tī ê chhù, ē thiám--sí."
"Ta̍k-ê lóng án-ne kóng. Pún-sèng lah. Chhù lih ū sì-ê sè-hàn gín-á, sì-kè loān chhau-chhau. Góa kui-ji̍t kā chéng-lí. Bêng-chai, chéng-lí liáu sûi tō ē koh loān chhau-chhau, m̄-koh kám-kak bô án-ne bē-sái. Chí-iàu khoân-kéng ē-tàng ê hoān-ûi, góa iáu sī siūⁿ boeh ū sù-sī ê seng-oa̍h."
"Án-ne bô m̄-tio̍h."
"Lí liáu-kái góa ê sim-chêng hoⁿh?"
"Tong-jiân liáu-kái."
--
57. 想欲有四序 ê 生活
北國少女 ê 紅潤猶留著. 藝旦特有 ê 皮膚 tī 月 kuiⁿ lih 加一層螺仔殼 ê 金滑.
"Iah, 你敢知我搬厝 ah?"
"為著師傅 ê 死? 無 koh 蹛 tī 彼間娘仔房 ah neh. 今蹛 ê 是正式 ê 藝旦厝?"
"正式 ê 藝旦厝? 是 án-ne lah, 店仔 tih 賣糖仔和薰. 我猶原是家治一人蹛. 這馬真正是食人 ê 頭路 ah. 暗時 tō 點蠟燭看冊."
Shimamura 雙手相攬, 笑出聲.
"電錶 ê 關係. Bē-sái 用傷濟電."
"是 án-ne oh."
"毋過, in 人對我晉好, 有時我想講, án-ne 敢 mā sùiⁿ 食頭路? 厝 lih ê 囡仔若哭, 頭家娘驚去吵著我, tō kā 囡仔 chhōa 出去外口. 我對 in 無意見. 毋過, 我討厭 in 眠床鋪無正. 我若較晏 túiⁿ, in 會替我鋪眠床, 有時被和 thiap 被鋪無齊, 抑是被單鋪歪去. Án-ne 我看著晉礙虐. 毋過 neh, 我又閣歹勢 kā 重鋪過. 人總是一片好心 lah."
"你若有家治 ê 厝, 會忝死."
"逐个攏 án-ne 講. 本性 lah. 厝 lih 有四个細漢囡仔, 四界亂操操. 我規日 kā 整理. 明知, 整理了隨 tō 會 koh 亂操操, 毋過感覺無 án-ne 袂使. 只要環境會當 ê 範圍, 我猶是想欲有四序 ê 生活."
"Án-ne 無毋著."
"你了解我 ê 心情 hoⁿh?"
"當然了解."
--
57.
Her cheeks still carried the ruddiness of her north-country girlhood. In the moonlight the fine geishalike skin took on the luster of a sea shell.
"But did you hear I'd moved?"
"Since the teacher died? You're not in the silk-worms' room any more, then? This time it's a real geisha house?"
" A real geisha house? I suppose i t is. They sell tobacco and candy in the shop, and I'm the only geisha they have. I have a real contract, and when I read late in the night I always use a candle to save electricity."
Shimamura let out a loud guffaw.
"The meter, you know. Shouldn't use too much electricity."
"I see, I see."
"But they're very good to me, so good that I sometimes find it hard to believe I'm really hired out as a geisha. When one of the children cries, the mother takes it outside so that I won't be bothered. I have nothing to complain about. Only sometimes the bedding is crooked. When I coml' home late at night, everything is laid out for me, but the mattresses aren't square one on the other, and the sheet is wrong. I hate it. After they've been so kind, though, I feel guilty making the bed over."
"You'd wear yourself out if you had a house of your own."
"So everyone says. There are four little chil dren, and the place is a terrible clutter. 1 spend the whole day picking things up. 1 know everything will be thrown down again as soon as my back is turned, but somehow 1 can't help myself. I want to be as clean and neat as the place will let me. . . . Do you understand how 1 feel?"
"I understand."
--
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