12. I him-sióng khang-siūⁿ ê bú-tō͘
M̄-koh, i mā bô kóng pe̍h-chha̍t. Chāi i khòaⁿ, chit-ê cha-bó͘ sī sò͘-jîn. Nā-chún tih giàn cha-bó͘, i mā bē kiû chit-ê cha-bó͘. Hit-lō tāi-chì i kan-tan tō ē-tàng kái-koat koh bô chōe-ok-kám. Yi siuⁿ-kòe sûn-kiat lah. Chho͘-kìⁿ-bīn, i tō kā hit-lō tāi-chì hām yi hun-khui ah-lah.
Jî-chhiáⁿ, hit-sî i iáu-bōe koat-tēng boeh khì tá-ūi heⁿh-joa̍h, chiah ē siūⁿ-kóng, sī-m̄-sī chhōa chhù lih ê lâng lâi chit-ê un-chôaⁿ-e̍k-tiûⁿ. Nā án-ne, ka-chài ū chit-ê sò͘-jîn, in khan-chhiú tō ē-tàng ū lâng pôe-phōaⁿ, bô-liâu ê sî mā ē-tàng o̍h thiàu chi̍t-ē-á bú. I bat án-ne jīn-chin khó-lī kòe. Sui-jiân i tùi yi chûn-chāi chi̍t-chióng iú-chêng, m̄-koh i iáu-sī liâu-kòe he iú-chêng ê chhián-thoaⁿ.
Tong-jiân, tī chia hoān-sè mā ū Shimamura khòaⁿ hông-hun kéng-tì ê kiàⁿ. I m̄-nā bô-ài hām chit-ê sin-hūn bô bêng-khak ê cha-bó͘ kin-ká-kô, jî-chhiáⁿ koh-khah tiōng-iàu ê sī, hoān-sè i ū chi̍t-chióng bô-hiān-si̍t ê siūⁿ-hoat, tō ná-chhiūⁿ i tī hông-hun hóe-chhia thang-á po-lê khòaⁿ tio̍h hit-ê ko͘-niû ê bīn kāng-khoán.
I tùi Se-iûⁿ bú-tō ê hèng-chhù mā sī án-ne. Shimamura sī tī Tokyo chhī-khu tōa-hàn ê, chū sè-hàn tō se̍k-sāi kabuki, ha̍k-seng sî-tāi ê hèng-chhù phian hiàng Ji̍t-pún bú-tō hām bú-kio̍k. Chū-án-ne, nā bô hut kah se̍k-chhiú i bē pàng-chhiú, tō khì chhâ kó͘-chá ê kì-lo̍k, cháu khì pài-hóng kok liû-phài ê sai-hū, āu-lâi iū-koh bat-tio̍h Ji̍t-pún bú-tō ê sin-lâng, sīm-chì mā siá gián-kiù a̍h phe-phêng ê bûn-chiuⁿ.
In-ūi án-ne, tùi Ji̍t-pún bú-tō ê bô chìn-pō͘, tùi chū-ngó͘ tiong-sim ê sin chhì-giām, i chū-jiân sī kám-kak tōa-tōa ê put-boán. M̄-nā án-ne, i koh kám-kak, tio̍h chhin-sin tâu-ji̍p si̍t-chè ê ūn-tōng chiah ē-sái. Tī siū tio̍h siàu-liân Ji̍t-pún bú-tō-ka ê iau-chhiáⁿ ê sî, i soah iū-koh choán hiàng Se-iûⁿ bú-tō khì.
I lóng bô koh khòaⁿ Ji̍t-pún bú-tō. Tian-tò sī siu-chi̍p Se-iûⁿ bú-tō ê chheh hām tô͘-phìⁿ, sīm-chì khó͘-sim ùi gōa-kok siu-chi̍p chi̍t-kóa hái-pò a̍h chiat-bo̍k-toaⁿ. Che choa̍t-tùi m̄-sī kan-ta tùi ī-kok a̍h bī-ti ê hòⁿ-kî niā-niā. Tī chia, i só͘ sin hoat-hiān ê lo̍k-thiòng, chāi-tī i ê bē-tàng chhin-ba̍k khòaⁿ tio̍h Se-iûⁿ-lâng ê bú-tō. Ùi Shimamura chiông-lâi m̄ khòaⁿ Ji̍t-pún-lâng thiàu Se-iûⁿ bú-tō tō sī chèng-kì.
Bô pí óa-khò Se-iûⁿ chhut-pán-phín lâi siá Se-iûⁿ bú-tō koh-khah khin-sang ê tāi-chì ah. Bô khòaⁿ kòe ê bú-tō si̍t-chāi sī khang-hi ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ. He m̄-nā sī khang-khak ê ōe, he sī thian-kok ê si. Sui-jiân hō-chò gián-kiù, kî-si̍t sī chhìn-chhái khang-siūⁿ, m̄-sī him-sióng bú-tō-ka seng-tōng bah-thé ê bú-tō gē-su̍t, sī him-sióng ùi Se-iûⁿ gí-giân a̍h siàng-phìⁿ só͘ phû chhut-lâi, ka-tī só͘ khang-siūⁿ ê bú-tō hoàn-iáⁿ. Che bē-su sī hām m̄-bat kìⁿ kòe ê lâng tâm loân-ài. In-ūi i put-sî siá chi̍t-kóa siāu-kài Se-iûⁿ bú-tō ê bûn-chiuⁿ, mā ē-sái sùiⁿ-sī chi̍t-ê bûn-gē-ka. Sui-jiân i ka-tī kám-kak hó-chhiò, m̄-koh che mā hō͘ bô chèng-sek chit-gia̍p ê i tit-tio̍h sim-lêng ê an-ùi.
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12. 伊欣賞空想 ê 舞蹈
毋過, 伊 mā 無講白賊. 在伊看, 這个查某是素人. 若準 tih 癮查某, 伊 mā 袂求這个查某. Hit-lō 代誌伊簡單 tō 會當解決 koh 無罪惡感. 她傷過純潔 lah. 初見面, 伊 tō kā hit-lō 代誌和她分開 ah-lah.
而且, 彼時伊猶未決定欲去 tá 位 heⁿh 熱, 才會想講, 是毋是 chhōa 厝 lih ê 人來這个溫泉浴場. 若 án-ne, 佳哉有這个素人, in 牽手 tō 會當有人陪伴, 無聊 ê 時 mā 會當學跳一下仔舞. 伊 bat án-ne 認真考慮過. 雖然伊對她存在一種友情, 毋過伊猶是 liâu 過 he 友情 ê 淺灘.
當然, tī 遮凡勢 mā 有 Shimamura 看黃昏景致 ê 鏡. 伊毋但無愛和這个身份無明確 ê 查某 kin-ká-kô, 而且閣較重要 ê 是, 凡勢伊有一種無現實 ê 想法, tō ná 像伊 tī 黃昏火車窗仔玻璃看著彼个姑娘 ê 面仝款.
伊對西洋舞蹈 ê 興趣 mā 是 án-ne. Shimamura 是 tī Tokyo 市區大漢 ê, 自細漢 tō 熟似 kabuki, 學生時代 ê 興趣偏向日本舞蹈和舞劇. 自 án-ne, 若無拂 kah 熟手伊袂放手, tō 去查古早 ê 記錄, 走去拜訪各流派 ê 師傅, 後來又閣捌著日本舞蹈 ê 新人, 甚至 mā 寫研究 a̍h 批評 ê 文章.
因為 án-ne, 對日本舞蹈 ê 無進步, 對自我中心 ê 新試驗, 伊自然是感覺大大 ê 不滿. 毋但 án-ne, 伊 koh 感覺, 著親身投入實際 ê 運動才會使. Tī 受著少年日本舞蹈家 ê 邀請 ê 時, 伊煞又閣轉向西洋舞蹈去.
伊攏無 koh 看日本舞蹈. 顛倒是收集西洋舞蹈 ê 冊和圖片, 甚至苦心 ùi 外國收集一寡海報 a̍h 節目單. 這絕對毋是干焦對異國 a̍h 未知 ê 好奇 niā-niā. Tī 遮, 伊所新發現 ê 樂暢, 在 tī 伊 ê 袂當親目看著西洋人 ê 舞蹈. Ùi Shimamura 從來毋看日本人跳西洋舞蹈 tō 是證據.
無比倚靠西洋出版品來寫西洋舞蹈閣較輕鬆 ê 代誌 ah. 無看過 ê 舞蹈實在是空虛 ê 物件. 彼 m̄-nā 是空殼 ê 話, 彼是天國 ê 詩. 雖然號做研究, 其實是凊釆空想, 毋是欣賞舞蹈家生動肉體 ê 舞蹈藝術, 是欣賞 ùi 西洋語言 a̍h 相片所浮出來, ka-tī 所空想 ê 舞蹈幻影. 這袂輸是和 m̄-bat 見過 ê 人談戀愛. 因為伊不時寫一寡紹介西洋舞蹈 ê 文章, mā 會使 sùiⁿ 是一个文藝家. 雖然伊 ka-tī 感覺好笑, 毋過這 mā 予無正式職業 ê 伊得著心靈 ê 安慰.
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12.
He had not been lying, though. To him this woman was an amateur. His desire for a woman was not of a sort to make him want this particular woman--it was something to be taken care of lightly and with no sense of guilt. This woman was too clean. From the moment he saw her, he had separated this woman and the other in his mind.
Then too, he had been trying to decide where he would go to escape the summer heat, and it occurred to him that he could bring his family to this mountain hot spring. The woman, being fortunately an amateur, would be a good companion for his wife. He might even have his wife take dancing lessons to keep from getting bored. He was quite serious about it. He said he felt only friendship for the woman, but he had his reasons for thus stepping into shallow water without taking the final plunge.
And something like that evening mirror was no doubt at work here too. He disliked the thought of drawn-out complications from an affair with a woman whose posmon was so ambiguous; but beyond that he saw her as somehow unreal, like the woman's face in that evening mirror.
His taste for the occidental dance had much the same air of unreality about it. He had grown up in the merchants' section of Tokyo, and he had been thoroughly familiar with the Kabuki theater from his childhood. As a student his interests had shifted to the Japanese dance and the dance-drama. Never satisfied until he learned everything about his subject, he had taken to searching through old documents and visiting the heads of various dance schools, and presently he had made friends with rising figures in the dance world and was writing what one might call research pieces and critical essays.
It was but natural, then, that he should come to feel a keen dissatisfaction with the slumbering old tradition as well as with reformers who sought only to please themselves. Just as he had arrived at the conclusion that there was nothing for it but to throw himself actively into the dance movement, and as he was being persuaded to do so by certain of the younger figures in the dance world, he abruptly switched to the occidental dance.
He stopped seeing the Japanese dance. He gathered pictures and descriptions of the occidental ballet, and began laboriously collecting programs and posters from abroad. This was more than simple fascination with the exotic and the unknown. The pleasure he found in his new hobby came in fact from his inability to see with his own eyes occidentals in occidental ballets. There was proof of this in his deliberate refusal to study the ballet as performed by Japanese.
Nothing could be more comfortable than writing about the ballet from books. A ballet he had never seen was an art in another world. It was an unrivaled armchair reverie, a lyric from some paradise. He called his work research, but it Was actually free, uncontrolled fantasy. He preferred not to savor the ballet in the flesh; rather he savored the phantasms of his own dancing imagination, called up by Western books and pictures. It was like being in love with someone he had never seen. But it was also true that Shimamura, with no real occupation, took some satisfaction from the fact that his occasional introductions to the occidental dance put him on the edge of the literary world--even while he was laughing at himself and his work.
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