47. Ná m̄ hām i chò chòe-āu ê sàng-pia̍t?
Yoko tiu-tiu tìm-thâu kóng: "Ài kín, Ài khah kín leh." Kóng-liáu yi oa̍t-thâu sûi cháu, kín kah hō͘ lâng bē siang-sìn.
Khòaⁿ tio̍h Yoko c hiām-chiām hūiⁿ khì ê sin-iáⁿ, Shimamura ê sim-thâu siám chhut chi̍t-ê chit-khoán tiûⁿ-ha̍p bô eng-kai ū ê gî-būn: Sī án-nóa hit-ê ko͘-niû chóng-sī hiah-nī-á téng-chin ah?
Yoko he boeh óa pi-ai ê iu-bí siaⁿ-im, ká-ná sī seh-soaⁿ tá-ūi ê hôe-siaⁿ, kàu taⁿ iáu tī Shimamura ê hīⁿ-khang se̍h.
"Boeh khì tah?" Komako khòaⁿ Shimamura boeh khì chū-tōng-chhia ūn-choán-chhiú hia, tō kā i khiú tún lâi, kóng:
"Mài! Góa bô boeh túiⁿ lah."
Chek-sî, Shimamura tùi Komako kám-kak chi̍t-chióng bah-thé-tek ê ià.
"Góa m̄-chai lín saⁿ-lâng tiong-kan ū sáⁿ-mih koan-hē, m̄-koh, hit-ê hāu-seⁿ kám m̄-sī tit-boeh sí ah? Siūⁿ boeh kìⁿ lí, i chiah kiò lâng lâi chhōe lí. Koai-koai túiⁿ khì lah, nā-bô, lí ē hiō-hóe it-seng. Hoān-sè lán kóng-ōe tiong-kan, i tō tūiⁿ-khùi ah. Boeh án-nóa? Mài kò͘-chip lah, kui-khì lóng kā pàng-chúi-lâu."
"M̄-sī án-ne. Lí gō͘-kái ah."
"Lí hông bē khì Tokyo ê sî, kám m̄-sī kan-ta i kā lí sàng-pia̍t? Tē-it pún ji̍t-kì, thōng khí-thâu kì ê, kám m̄-sī i? Kám ū sáⁿ lí-iû m̄ hām i chò chòe-āu ê sàng-pia̍t? Khì hō͘ hit-lâng kā lí kì tī i sèⁿ-miā ê chòe-āu chi̍t-ia̍h lah."
"Góa m̄. Góa bô-ài khòaⁿ lâng sí."
Thiaⁿ-tio̍h ká-ná léng-khok po̍k-chêng, koh ná chhin-chhiūⁿ jia̍t-chêng kòe-tō͘, Shimamura pìⁿ bē chheng-chhó.
"Sáⁿ ji̍t-kì, góa í-keng bô tih kì ah, Boeh kā sio tiāu." Komako ka-tī ná án-ne nauh, bô-tāi-bô-chì bīn âng khí-lâi. Yi koh kóng:
"Neh, lí sī láu-si̍t lâng. Nā sī láu-si̍t lâng, góa ē-sái kā ji̍t-kì lóng sàng lí. Lí bē chhiò góa lah hoⁿh? Góa jīn-ûi lí sī láu-si̍t lâng."
Shimamura put-kak chhim-chhim kám-tōng, bô m̄-tio̍h, kám-kak bô lâng ū i hiah láu-si̍t, tō bô koh bián-kióng Komako tio̍h túiⁿ. Komako mā tiām-tiām bô kóng-ōe.
--
47. 那毋和伊做最後 ê 送別?
Yoko tiu-tiu tìm 頭講: "愛緊, 愛較緊 leh." 講了她越頭隨走, 緊 kah 予人袂相信.
看著 Yoko 漸漸 hūiⁿ 去 ê 身影, Shimamura ê 心頭閃出一个這款場合無應該有 ê 疑問: 是 án-nóa 彼个姑娘總是 hiah-nī-á 頂真 ah?
Yoko 彼欲倚悲哀 ê 優美聲音, ká-ná 是雪山 tá 位 ê 回聲, 到今猶 tī Shimamura ê 耳空踅.
"欲去 tah?" Komako 看 Shimamura 欲去自動車運轉手遐, tō kā 伊搝 tún 來, 講:
"莫! 我無欲 túiⁿ lah."
即時, Shimamura 對 Komako 感覺一種肉體的 ê 厭.
"我毋知恁三人中間有啥物關係, 毋過, 彼个後生敢毋是得欲死 ah? 想欲見你, 伊才叫人來揣你. 乖乖 túiⁿ 去 lah, 若無, 你會後悔一生. 凡勢咱講話中間, 伊 tō tūiⁿ 氣 ah. 欲 án-nóa? 莫固執 lah, 規氣攏 kā 放水流."
"毋是 án-ne. 你誤解 ah."
"你 hông 賣去 Tokyo ê 時, 敢毋是干焦伊 kā 你送別? 第一本日記, thōng 起頭記 ê, 敢毋是伊? 敢有啥理由毋和伊做最後 ê 送別? 去予彼人 kā 你記 tī 伊性命 ê 最後一頁 lah."
"我毋. 我無愛看人死."
聽著 ká-ná 冷酷薄情, koh ná 親像熱情過度, Shimamura pìⁿ 袂清楚.
"啥日記, 我已經無 tih 記 ah, 欲 kā 燒掉." Komako 家治 ná án-ne nauh, 無代無誌面紅起來. 她 koh 講:
"Neh, 你是老實人. 若是老實人, 我會使 kā 日記攏送你. 你袂笑我 lah hoⁿh? 我認為你是老實人."
Shimamura 不覺深深感動, 無毋著, 感覺無人有伊 hiah 老實, tō 無 koh 勉強 Komako 著 túiⁿ. Komako mā 恬恬無講話.
--
47.
Yoko nodded quickly, and turned away with almost unbelievable alacrity.
Why was the girl always so earnest, so sober, Shimamura wondered. But such musings did not seem entirely in keeping with the occasion.
That voice, so beautiful it was almost lonely, lingered in Shimamura's ears as if it were echoing back from somewhere in the snowy mountains.
"Where are you going?" Komako pulled at Shimamura. He had signaled the taxi and was walking toward it. "I won't. I'm not going home."
For an instant Shimamura felt something very near physical revulsion.
"I don't know what there is among the three of you, but the man may be dying even now. She came for you, didn't she, because he wants to see you. Go home like a good girl. You'll regret it all your life if you don't. What if he dies even while you're standing here? Don't be stubborn. Forgive and forget."
"Forgive and forget? You don't understand. You don't understand at all."
"And when they sent you to Tokyo, he was the only one who saw you off, didn't you say? Do you think it's right not to say good-by to the man you yourself said was on the very first page of the very first volume of your diary? This is the very last page of his."
"But I don't want to. I don't want to see a man die."
It could have been the coldest heartlessness or too warm a passion-Shimamura did not know which.
"I'll not be able to write in my diary any more. I'll burn it," she said softly, almost to herself. Her cheeks were flushed. "You're a good, simple person at heart, aren't you? If you really are, I won't mind sending my whole diary to you. You won't laugh at me? You're a good, honest person at heart, I'm sure."
Shimamura was moved by a wave of feeling he could not define himself. He thought he must indeed be the plainest, most honest person in the world. He no longer worried about sending Komako home. She said nothing more.
--
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