20. Lo̍h-bóe góa mā bô chhiò lí | 落尾我 mā 無笑你

20. Lo̍h-bóe góa mā bô chhiò lí

Chi̍t-chām-á yi tiām kah ná bô tih chhoán-khùi. Hiông-hiông iū ná siūⁿ tio̍h sáⁿ, tōa siaⁿ kiò:

"Lí tih chhiò. Tih chhiò góa hoⁿh?"

"Góa bô chhiò lah."

"Chhiò tī sim-koaⁿ té hoⁿh? Chit-má bô chhiò, í-āu lí mā ē chhiò lah." Cha-bó͘  àⁿ-sin, soah iⁿ-iⁿ-n̄g-n̄g tih khàu.

M̄-koh, kòe bô kú, yi tō bô koh chheh-khùi, tō óa-kīn i, un-jiû, thé-thiap, kóng-khí ka-tī ê sin-sè. Chiú-chùi ê kan-khó͘ ká-ná lóng bē-kì-lih ah, mā lóng bô kóng-khí tú-chiah ê tāi-chì.

"Ai-ah, kò͘ kóng-ōe, soah bē-kì-lih sî-kan." Yi bīn âng khí-lâi, chhiò chi̍t-ē. 

Thiⁿ-kuiⁿ chìn-chêng tio̍h lī-khui, yi án-ne kóng:

"Iáu àm-àm, m̄-koh chia ê lâng chin chá khí lâi." yi án-ne kóng, kúi-ā kái peh khí-lâi, thoah thang-á-mûi khòaⁿ.

"Iáu khòaⁿ bô lâng. Chá-khí lo̍h-hō͘, bô-lâng chhut-mûi lo̍h chhân."

Tùi-bīn soaⁿ-thâu hām soaⁿ-kha ê chhù-téng tī bông-bông ê hō͘ tiong phû-hiān chhut-lâi, cha-bó͘ ká-ná m̄-kam lī-khui. Lo̍h-bóe, tī kheh-chàn ê lâng khí-chhn̂g chìn-chêng, yi kā thâu-chang se hó, kiaⁿ Shimamura sàng yi kàu mûi-kháu ē hông khòaⁿ tio̍h, tō hiong-hiong kông-kông ka-tī chi̍t-ê chhut-khì, iōng cháu ê lī-khui. 

Shimamura mā tī hit-kang túiⁿ Tokyo.

*

"Hit-chūn lí án-ne kóng, m̄-koh he m̄-sī chin ê. Nā bô, sáng ē tī tang-bóe lâi chiah kôaⁿ ê chia? Lo̍h-bóe góa mā bô chhiò lí."

Cha-bó͘ hut-leh gia̍h thâu. Yi he goân-pún tah tī Shimamura chhiú-té ê bīn âng khí-lâi, thàng-kòe kāu-kāu ê pe̍h-hún, ùi ba̍k-phôe kàu bīn-kut nn̄g-pêng, iáu sī khòaⁿ ē chhut. Che sui-jiân hō͘ i siūⁿ-tio̍h Seh-kok àm-iā ê hân-léng, m̄-koh yi he ba̍t koh kāu ê o͘-thâu-chang ū un-loán ê kám-kak.

Yi ê bīn phû chhut chi̍t-ê bâ-bún chhiò, Kám sī chit-má yi koh siūⁿ tio̍h "hit-tong-sî" ah? Ká-ná Shimamura ê ōe chiām-chiām kā yi kui-hûn-su lóng ní âng khí-lâi ah. Cha-bó͘ ê thâu lê loeh, kimono ê āu-niá khui khui, khòaⁿ ē-tio̍h kha-chiah-phiaⁿ mā sī âng kì-kì, bē-su tú-chiah chhut-e̍k ê lō͘-thé. Khó-lêng sī pí-phēng thâu-mo͘ ê sek, chiah ū chit-chióng kám-kak. Hia̍h-thâu téng ê thâu-mo͘ bô sùiⁿ ba̍t, mo͘-si ná cha-po͘-lâng ê hiah chho͘, bô iù-mo͘-á, mā ná o͘ ê khòng-chio̍h, o͘ kah ē siám-kuiⁿ.

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20. 落尾我 mā 無笑你

一站仔她恬 kah ná 無 tih 喘氣. 雄雄又 ná 想著啥, 大聲叫:

"你 tih 笑. Tih 笑我 hoⁿh?"

"我無笑 lah."

"笑 tī 心肝底 hoⁿh? 這馬無笑, 以後你 mā 會笑 lah." 查某  àⁿ 身, 煞 iⁿ-iⁿ-n̄g-n̄g tih 哭.

毋過, 過無久, 她 tō 無 koh chheh 氣, tō 倚近伊, 溫柔, 體貼, 講起 ka-tī ê 身世. 酒醉 ê 艱苦 ká-ná 攏袂記 lih ah, mā 攏無講起拄才 ê 代誌.

"Ai-ah, 顧講話, 煞袂記 lih 時間." 她面紅起來, 笑一下. 

天 kuiⁿ 進前著離開, 她 án-ne 講:

"猶暗暗, 毋過遮 ê 人真早起來." 她 án-ne 講, 幾 ā 改 peh 起來, 挩窗仔 mûi 看.

"猶看無人. 早起落雨, 無人出 mûi 落田."

對面山頭和山跤 ê 厝頂 tī 濛濛 ê 雨中浮現出來, 查某 ká-ná 毋甘離開. 落尾, tī 客棧 ê 人起床進前, 她 kā 頭鬃梳好, 驚 Shimamura 送她到 mûi 口會 hông 看著, tō 兇兇狂狂家治一个出去, 用走 ê 離開. 

Shimamura mā tī 彼工 túiⁿ Tokyo.

*

"彼陣你 án-ne 講, 毋過 he 毋是真 ê. 若無, sáng 會 tī 冬尾來 chiah 寒 ê 遮? 落尾我 mā 無笑你."

查某忽 leh 攑頭. 她 he 原本貼 tī Shimamura 手底 ê 面紅起來, 迵過厚厚 ê 白粉, ùi 目皮到面骨兩爿, 猶是看會出. 這雖然予伊想著雪國暗夜 ê 寒冷, 毋過她 he 密 koh 厚 ê 烏頭鬃有溫暖 ê 感覺.

她 ê 面浮出一个麻吻笑, 敢是 chit-má 她 koh 想著 "彼當時" ah? Ká-ná Shimamura ê 話漸漸 kā 她規魂軀攏染紅起來 ah. 查某 ê 頭犁 loeh, kimono ê 後領開開, 看會著尻脊骿 mā 是紅 kì-kì, 袂輸拄才出浴 ê 露體. 可能是比並頭毛 ê 色, 才有這種感覺. 額頭頂 ê 頭毛無 sùiⁿ 密, 毛絲 ná 查埔人 ê hiah 粗, 無幼毛仔, mā ná 烏 ê 礦石, 烏 kah 會閃 kuiⁿ.

--

20.

She was quiet for a time, apparently drained of feeling. Then, as if the thought came to her from somewhere in her memory, she struck out: "You're laughing, aren't you? You're laughing at me."

"I am not."

"Deep in your heart you're laughing at me. Even if you aren't now, you will be later." She was choked with tears. Turning away from him, she buried her face in her hands.

But a moment later she was calm again. Soft and yielding as if she were offering herself up, she was suddenly very intimate, and she began telling him all about herself. She seemed quite to have forgotten the headache. She said not a word about what had just happened.

"But I've been so busy talking 1 haven't noticed how late it is." She smiled a little bashfully. She had to leave before daylight, she said. "It's still dark. But people here get up early." Time after time she got up to look out the window. "They won't be able to see my face yet. And it's raining. No one will be going out to the fields this morning."

She seemed reluctant to go even when the lines of the mountain and of the roofs on its slopes were floating out of the rain. Finally it was time for the hotel maids to be up and about. She retouched her hair and ran, almost fled, from the room, brushing aside Shimamura's offer to see her to the door. Someone might catch a glimpse of the two of them together.

Shimamura went back to Tokyo that day.

 *

 "You remember what you said then? But you were wrong. Why else would anyone come to such a place in December? I wasn't laughing at you."

The woman raised her head. Her face where it had been pressed against Shimamura's hand was red under the thick powder, from the eye across the bridge of the nose. It made him think of the snow-country cold, and yet, because of the darkness of her hair, there was a certain warmth in it.

She smiled quietly, as though dazzled by a bright light. Perhaps, as she smiled, she thought of "then," and Shimamura's words gradually colored her whole body. When she bowed her head, a little stiffly, he could see that even her back under her kimono was flushed a deep red. Set off by the color of her hair, the moist sensuous skin was as if laid naked before him. Her hair could not really have been called thick. Stiff like a man's, and swept up into a high Japanese-style coiffure with not a hair out of place, it glowed like some heavy black stone.

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