Friday, June 18, 2021

79. Góa kan-ta boeh chiàu-kò͘ chi̍t-ê lâng | 我干焦欲照顧一个人

79. Góa kan-ta boeh chiàu-kò͘ chi̍t-ê lâng

Shimamura koh siūⁿ khí, tī hóe-chhia téng chiàu-kò͘ sai-hū ê hāu-seⁿ hit-sî ê Yoko ê sin-iáⁿ, tī he téng-chin ê kám-chêng tiong, lâu-lō͘ chhut Yoko ê goān-bāng. Siūⁿ tio̍h che, Shimamura khin-khin bî-chhiò.

"Nā án-ne, chit-kái lí sī siūⁿ boeh khì o̍h chò hō͘-sū?"

"Góa í-keng boaih chò hō͘-sū ah."

"Chiah-nī bô-kin sī bē-sái neh."

"Ai-ah, kóng sáⁿ-mih kin, put-koán lah." Yoko ná ìn-chhùi ná chhiò.

He chhiò-siaⁿ koân koh chheng, thiaⁿ-tio̍h hō͘ lâng sim-suiⁿ, he m̄-sī gōng-ōe. M̄-koh, he kan-ta khang-khang khok chi̍t-ē Shimamura ê sim, tō siau khì ah.

"Ū sáⁿ hó-chhiò ê?"

"Sī ah, góa kan-ta boeh chiàu-kò͘ chi̍t-ê lâng."

"Hāⁿ-á?"

"Koh-lâi góa m̄ chò ah."

"Sī oh?" Shimamura koh kám-kak ì-gōa, tō chēng-chēng kóng:

"Thiaⁿ-kóng, lí ta̍k-kang lóng khì kiô-be̍h-hûiⁿ hia pài-bōng."

"Heⁿh."

"Lí siūⁿ-kóng, chit-sì-lâng bē koh chiàu-kò͘ pa̍t-ê pēⁿ-lâng, a̍h-sī pài pa̍t-lâng ê bōng?"

"Bē."

"Lí pàng ē khui hit-ê bōng, cháu khì Tokyo hioh?"

"Ai-ah, pháiⁿ-sè. Chhiáⁿ chhōa góa khì Tokyo lah."

"Komako kóng, lí kài gâu chia̍h-chhò͘. Hit-ê lâng kám m̄-sī Komako ê bī-hun-hu?"

"Lí sī kóng Yokio? O͘-pe̍h-kóng! O͘-pe̍h kóng!"

"Lí sī án-nóa ē chheh Komako?"

"Koma-Chan?" Ká-ná kiò khiā tī bīn-chêng ê lâng, Yoko ba̍k-chiu tián tōa khòaⁿ Shimamura, kóng:

"Chhiáⁿ lí hó-hó chiàu-kò͘ Koma-Chan."

"Góa sáⁿ mā chò bē kàu ah."

--

79. 我干焦欲照顧一个人

Shimamura koh 想起, tī 火車頂照顧師傅 ê 後生彼時 ê Yoko ê 身影, tī he 頂真 ê 感情中, 流露出 Yoko ê 願望. 想著這, Shimamura 輕輕微笑.

"若 án-ne, 這改你是想欲去學做護士?"

"我已經 boaih 做護士 ah."

"Chiah-nī 無根是袂使 neh."

"Ai-ah, 講啥物根, 不管 lah." Yoko ná 應喙 ná 笑.

彼笑聲懸 koh 清, 聽著予人心 suiⁿ, 彼毋是戇話. 毋過, he 干焦空空硞一下 Shimamura ê 心, tō 消去 ah.

"有啥好笑 ê?"

"是 ah, 我干焦欲照顧一个人."

"Hāⁿ-á?"

"閣來我毋做 ah."

"是 oh?" Shimamura koh 感覺意外, tō 靜靜講:

"聽講, 你逐工攏去蕎麥 hûiⁿ 遐拜墓."

"Heⁿh."

"你想講, 這世人袂 koh 照顧別个病人, 抑是拜別人 ê 墓?"

"袂."

"你放會開彼个墓, 走去 Tokyo hioh?"

"Ai-ah, 歹勢. 請 chhōa 我去 Tokyo lah."

"Komako 講, 你蓋 gâu 食醋. 彼个人敢毋是 Komako ê 未婚夫?"

"你是講 Yokio? 烏白講! 烏白講!"

"你是 án-nóa 會慼 Komako?"

"Koma-Chan?" Ká-ná 叫徛 tī 面前 ê 人, Yoko 目睭展大看 Shimamura, 講:

"請你好好照顧 Koma-Chan."

"我啥 mā 做袂到 ah."

--

79.

Shimamura smiled. This perhaps explained the earnestness with which she had taken care of the music teacher's son on the train.

"And you still want to be a nurse?"

"I won't be a nurse now."

"But you'll have to make up your mind. This indecisiveness will never do."

"Indecisiveness? It has nothing to do with indecisiveness." Her laugh threw back the accusation.

Her laugh, like her voice, was so high and clear that it was almost lonely. There was not a suggestion in it of the dull or the simple-minded; but it struck emptily at the shell of Shimamura's heart, and fell away in silence.

"What's funny?"

"But there has only been one man I could possibly nurse."

Again Shimamura was startled.

"I could never again."

"I see." His answer was quiet. He had been caught off guard. "They say you spend all your time at the cemetery."

"I do."

"And for the rest of your life you can never nurse anyone else, or visit anyone else's grave?"

"Never again."

"How can you leave the grave and go off to Tokyo, then?"

"I'm sorry. Do take me with you."

"Komako says you're frightfully jealous. Wasn't the man her fiance?"

"Yukio? It's a lie. It's a lie."

"Why do you dislike Komako, then?" "Komako." She spoke as if calling to someone in the same room, and she gazed hotly at Shimamura. "Be good to Komako."

"But I can do nothing for her."

--


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